love`pInK=PrInCeSs^kImmI

................VIP..........AM I.............

2010-10-18T19:12:00.003+08:00

~I always wished i would be a VIP princess in your life but you have always put your friends first before me....Some times i ask myself how long more am i gonna take this shit from you....i am about to blow my mind at times i even wished i never went with you right from the start....i am hurting so badly....i told you that my leave planner openes every 3months and its only open for 14days once it close i cannot apply for leave....and you still don give a dam....

i told you i took leave end of nov and now you tell me that you wanna go to KL with your stupid friend and his family.....WTF man....3kids don expect me to sit beside the kids or sit behind with them...if i think im not to happy about it i will just walk off and take the bus back myself anyway its not the 1st time im going to KL...if we really break up one day i won't feel pain cuz you are never there for me i will just feel disappointed cuz i wasted my 3years being with you...

Anyway i don't really give a dam anymore...just do whatever you wanna do as long as it makes you happy cuz i am just really tired trying to be my best and make you happy...you know after a while i just get tired and don give a dam anymore....if you're there den good if you're not there den i also don are...at least if you're not there i can go out with my family or my friends or even go ut and pamper myself.....I really wish you will just go away or i catch you with some bitch and everything stops between us....cuz honestly speaking you were never there hen i need you...even when my late grandpa passed away that was the time for you to show me how much you really love me and wanna be there for me but instead i was wrong my friend was there for me...where were you....???busy fucking that bitch susan leong....that is one thing that i will never forget although i say i forgive you but deep down i still find it very hard to forget what you did and the best part whe i questioned you about that bitch...you shouted at me...what kind of fucking man are you....but of cuz people say if you really love someone than forgive and forget.....

I can forgive you but im sorry i cannot forget what happen...because you can actually act like nothing happened....now im really thinking really hard if i actually wanna marry you.....cuz i don know if i wanna convert anymore...if you cant accept me the way i am than im very sorry i don think we should be together because there are so many malays marrying other races and they don even need to convert as long as they love each othere thats what is very important...and another thing you are not such a good malay man to start off...so i just hope you don strart forcing me or your mother....

I am done for now...till next time lost girl princess kimmi....!!!!!!

.......my new friend....

2010-06-29T21:45:00.000+08:00

~i have a new friend I know its wrong but I don't care my new friend makes me feel so loved and cared about....
Its like when we are texting and chatting I feel so happy since I don't get this kind of attention from yaz so
Why not have a fling with my new friend right....??? I mean every girl wants to be loved and cared for in some way
or another...so if I don't get it from the man I love than just too bad I will look for someone else who can give it
To me but I still love you and wanna be with you...its just the attention I want from my new friend that's all nothing
More...oh well I feel very lucky knowing my new friend and I don't care what others are gonna say...I know I'm happy and
My new friend is happy too...till next time I hope I'm still smiling...

.....im sad and lost...

2010-06-10T11:05:00.000+08:00

~im so sad and lost now I don't know I really don't know what to do anymore...
I feel my heart is about to stop any min...I don't know I really don't know what
To do to make him happy I am trying so hard to make him happy but I guess he is right
I'm really so fucked up and there is nothing I can do to make him happy...I feel so lost
Now I want to marry him take care of him for the rest of my life but I don't think I'm good
Enough for him...I guess they are all right I'm really so fucked up and I'm bad luck...I will
Never find happiness for myself I always fuck things up when I'm in a relationship...maybe I should
Let him go so that he can be happy...

I'm super stress with work and I'm super worried about him but of cause he don't give a dam about my feelings...
Everything have to be his way...I always give in to him and I don't expect him to give me anything I just want him
To love me and understand me...that's all I ask from him...is that too much to ask from him...I don't feel special to
Him anymore...I feel he don't need me anymore...I don't know I really don't know...I'm just so sad and I feel so much pain...

Please don't do this to me if you don't love me anymore please tell me the truth...
If you are not gonna marry me please tell me the truth please don't do this to me...I want
To marry you I really do but the question is do you want to marry me...I don't know I really
Don't know...I'm so lost and hurt now...till next time... -lost girl-

....pain...pain...pain...

2010-06-06T10:31:00.000+08:00

~I feel so much pain now...I can't explain this pain but I wanna scream out loud I wanna punch something so hard...
I'm so numb I really don't know what to do...I know if I turn left I will be happy or at least my whole family will be
Happy but if I turn right no one will be happy...I'm so lost now...these pass 2years 5months I have loved a man so much with
all my heart but to only get hurt in the end...but its ok at least its only 2years and not 5years..this pain I feel now is nothing
Compared to the pain I felt before...

When I lost my grandpa..the person I who I wished to be there for me was no where to be found instead the person I least expected to
Be there for me was there...I don't know I really don't know...I know I'm not perfect but I never fucked around behind his back I have always
Been true to him...when will I stop feeling lost...like I said before after my grandpa passed on I don't feel special I don't think I'm important
in this family or to anyone..especially not to him...I guess we are done with each other and its time for me to let him go..he don need me anymore he
Have his son just like what everyone say and even he told me that last night...

Its sad to love someone so much but to only find out that all this while he never loved you...
Its so painful to have someone you love so much tell you that you are fucked up no matter how hard
you try to be the best for him...
Its so hurting to love someone but get shit thrown on your face in the end...

I don't know I really don't know I'm just looking forward for my leave in july I just need to get out of the country for a while...
I'm just so hurt and lost...I don't know how much more pain I can take before I finally give up and jump down...till next time... -lost girl-

same old shit again....

2010-06-06T00:47:00.002+08:00

~im just so tired of the same old shit...I did what I was told but to him its never good enough...I dunno at this point of time I'm just so lost I wish my
Grandpa will just come take me far far away with him away from all the shit...I've tried my best but I guess my best is just not good enough for him...he always will
Have something bad to say about me..its like everything I do is all wrong...

Richard asked me this today why did I forgive him why did I still give him a second chance...all I did was juz smile and look
At richard with so much pain in my eyes...I wanted to cry and tell him that actually I love yaz so much until whatever he do I just keep
It to myself...no one knows how much pain I've gone through these pass two years five months...no one knows how many times I wanna jump down
From my 11floor....why are some women so lucky they can get such a nice guy but they still don't know how to treasure and me I just want a normal
Life...I just want to get married have my own family...my house is already so fucked up don tell me I have to get someone that is also fucked up...
I thought by going with someone older he will be more understanding not to everything but at least some things but looks like I was wrong...he choose not
To understand at all...everything have to be his way he can never once give in to me...even when I went for my operation he didn't even care if I was alright...
When I'm sick he don't even care...

These pass few days I have been helping him at his work place...although I'm so tired but I still come down and help him...cuz its the only way I can get to see him...
But he couldn't give a dam if we get to see each other or not...I'm so lost now I don't know what kind of relationship I got myself into this time...but everyone keep on telling me
To be patience things will get better...will things really get better I always ask myself is everyone correct should I believe them...??? He can laugh joke with everyone but when he turns
To me he just shows me his black face as if I did something so wrong...I really don't know who I went with...his not the yazhar I first knew his so different I don't even know who is he anymore...

Maybe its really time for me to let go and move on I don't feel happy staying on in this relationship...but I don't have the heart to leave him just like that...I don't know everyone say just go he don't
Need you he have his son...if he wanted to marry you long time ago he will leave his wife instead of keep asking me to wait for his mum to come back...I don't know I really don't know...I just wanna die...ever since
Papa left this world part of me also died I have nothing to look forward anymore...now the only reason in still alive is because my grandma is also still alive...I always tell my grandma the day she follows my grandpa please
Take me with her don't leave me here alone I made her promise me that...but always say that she will not do that to me...but I don't wanna stay here without my grandparents...they are the only reason I feel special other than that
I don't think I'm important to anyone...

If I only knew I will never leave my ex at least he did love me so much until I fucked things up for us...
He was always there for me he never left me in pain alone...I really wished I can turn back the clock and treat him
Better instead of treating him so bad...showing my temper as and when I like...but everything is over he have moved on
And I'm still stuck here thinking about him...there are many times I wanna call him but I'm just so scared to do that as I know
For sure he will never go back with me after what I have done to him...guess this is my karma to get someone like this who treat me like shit...
I don't know I really don't know...I'm just floating as the days go by...till next time... -lost girl-

...PERFECTION IN MY EYES...

2010-06-03T13:59:00.000+08:00

~All I ever wanted was to be part
Of your heart...
And for us to always be together
To never part...
No one in this world can even compare
You are PERFECT and so is this
Love that we share...
We have so much more than I ever thought we would...

I love you more than I ever thought I could
I promise to give you all I have
To give...
I will do anything for you
As long as I live...

By the way you look at me I know
We will last forever...
I hope that one day you will come to relies
How PERFECT you are when I see you
Through MY EYES dear...

You will always be the man I love the most in my life
as long as you don't let me down..till next time... -lost girl-

~after so long...

2010-06-01T23:36:00.003+08:00

~its been so long since I last updated my blog...oh well I've been super busy and guess now its my free time to write what I having been keeping in my heart for so long....

I have been dating him for 2yrs 5months at first everything was good he pampered me the most it was like a dream come true to be with him but as time goes by things start to change at least I know I didn't change but he did....and when I got to the bottom of everything
There was actually another woman in this picture all this while...I wanted to end my life that night when I went to meet him...the min I asked him about that bitch susan leong he lost his temper and walked away...my heart sank right down to the bottom of the sea...my mind was blank
All I could think off was I wanna go with my grandpa I don't wanna live in this world anymore...the pain I felt in my heart its worse than using a knife to stab me...I thought he was different from apai but his just the same...after everything he tells me that he still loves me and
I mean the world to him...but I don't feel anything special about this relationship...everyone says I'm stupid to forgive him even his best friend richard told me I can get someone better someone that will not hurt me...but I guess I love him too much too let go and I choose to close both eye
To everything he do...my mother thinks his the best guy I ever had in my life,that's becuz I don't tell her anything bad about him I always say good and nice thing about him to my mum...my grandma tells me this "things will get better once you'll are married at least he will be happy staying with you..
Is mama right will things get better or will things just get worse...I'm just so scared to even think about it...I mean I don't know when will he just lose his temper which his very famous of losing his temper as and when he feels like telling me off...

Every night when I go to bed I somehow feel pain and I always end up in tears...I always wish my grandpa will come take me with him take me away from this world and be with him...I know
One thing for sure I will be very happy with my grandpa...I always want to get married and have kids that's my dream but now being with him I don't think my dream will ever come true...
Its like I'm just walking on the rocks by the sea and as the rocks cut my feet and the blood flowing down...each drop of blood cause the pain to get worse...that's how my heart feels...I never
Say no to him...whatever he wants I always say yes...but u know after a while you just get tired of saying yes to everything...but becuz of love you do it...

I'm just so lost at this point of time...I wanna trust him 100% like last time but its so hard I don't know will he cheat behind my back again...when I call and he don't answer or when I sms him and he don't reply my mind
Starts thinking is he with another woman or is he really at work...I got cheated by my ex was good enough I really didn't think yaz will hurt me but looks like I was wrong he did hurt me just like apai...why must men cheat...???
Isn't one enough for them...???oh well till next time.. -Lost Girl-

Lost

2009-07-14T18:34:00.002+08:00

~So many things happen to me this month......i dunno should i be happy or sad....been crying so much.....dunno izzit tears of joy or tears of sadness...

He left and i wen back with someone else....but im still not happy.....den someone new came along.....im falling in love again...im starting to feel my happiness is coming back but i juz dunno for how long.....

The old one called me today telling me about the work...hmmm....i juz dunno im so lost...one min his nice to me the next min his so mean to me.....they are all like that they start off being so nice to me den after a few months have gone they are all start to become so mean to me...juz don understand them.....MEN....

Went to see my grandma today and she started crying she is so worried about me....den i told her that she don have to worry about me anymore i think i have found some1 to look after me for good.....i showed her his pic and she smile and asked when can she meet him....grandpa was so happy that i finally found some1 to love n care for me....My eyes was full of tears when my grandparents was so happy i just hope that he wont let me down like the rest.....

Is this a start of my new happiness.....????Well.....lets juz wait and see....but im sure it wont last cuz my happiness never last forever,its always juz a short period of time den im back to my sad life....What FUCKED UP LUCK I HAVE....Haiz....

2009-02-08T10:43:00.002+08:00

...........Happy Part...........

This is the happy couple that just turn 1yrs old on 6 Jan 2009........Should i say happy????Hmmm.....I dunno.....Its was our 1st yr but he didn't do anything special.....haiz.....just my luck i guess....Sometimes i long that he will just one day out of the blue HUG me and just say he love me just once.....I don ask for much just once will do....haiz....but dunno when will that day ever come....

We are planning to go for a short trip in April......YESH....Its gonna be just the two of us to spend some time together just US.....hahahaha....call me selfish but I'm not gonna let any1 come along and spoil everything....Maybe when we are there he will hug me...hahahaha...Who knows right....hahahahaha......!

..........Sad Part..........

Hmmm....Where do i start.....okie here goes....he told me that he will marry me once he settle all his things and it will be end of 2009 when his mum comes back....But But....There is always a but.....looks like things are gonna change again...haiz....what a life man.....Now he tells me that his mum is gonna come back end of 2010.....I was like WHAT....HUH.....END OF 2010.....Then he was like ya end of 2010....The 1st thing i asked him was den wat don tell me you gonna stay in that house with her for another 1year plus.....Then he said NO....He told me to go stay with him in Malaysia JB.....I don know man....You know its like why must he wait for his mum to come back den get things done why cant he do things on his own.....Why must he stay in that house with HER in the same house....Why cant he find a place to stay on his own.....all these words keep going through my mind everyday...

I still cant get any answers our from myself and from him....So in my head it will always be lots of questions....WHY WHY WHY WHY.....Haiz...Sometimes i just wish i never fell in love with a married man....Shit man...It SUCKS BIG BIG TIME man.......The reasons that he give me a....Oh im staying in that house cuz my mum ask me to and becuz i wan my son to get closer to me...and he does not want anyone to hit his son....Keep telling me that i must understand him...But what about me...SHIT...DAM IT MAN.....Who the hell is gonna understand my feelings....????On his off day he don even have time to spend with me......Like i said i really don ask for anything i don even ask him to buy me expensive things...All i ask is for him JUST ONCE hug me tell me how important i am in his life....tell me how much he loves me and wan2 be with me.....Just spare one off day with me meet me earlier instead of always meeting me at night or 3+am in the morning....WHY WHY WHY....See this word always come into my head.....WHY WHY...Hahahahaha...Call me crazy mad whatever u wanna call me i don gif a dam....Cuz if you was in my shoes you will know how I'm feeling right now.....

When my friends ask me when am i getting married....or....Where is your darling where is your husband.....All i can do is just smile....Cuz his always so busy with his work or with his son....But when it comes to me.....Our time spend together is so so so limited.........But i never pick a fight or argument with him over this issue....I just keep it to myself......Sometimes i wanna tell him i miss him so much i also hold back and just keep it to myself....I don know what kind of relationship i am in now but all i can say ITS COMPLICATED.....Yup......I don know what else to say....Just see how long more i can take all this....If 1day my heart give way then just too bad...Maybe then only he will know how much i really did love him right from the start....hahahahaha....Maybe.....You never know right....hahaha....

That will be all for now...till we meet again...I miss and love you so much dd.....

2008-03-18T20:20:00.002+08:00

mY LoVe... mY LiFe....My eVeRyThInG....

Where do i start...How do i start...

Sometimes i ask myself why

must this happen to me...?

I use to be so mean to others and now everything

is comming back to me..

There are times at night i always sit and

Tell myself i wish i can turn back the clock and not be so mean

To others...Den maybe now others won't be

So mean to me...

I found someone new..Its funny how we actually

Got together...Until today when i

Think about i laugh..hahahaha..

Everytime when i see him i feel like just hugging him

And not letting him go..His my everything..

I wish that we don have to part..

The feeling of loving some1

Sometimes feels so painful when he starts

to assume and accuse you..

There are times i just feel like slapping him

When he starts accusing and assuming but den again

I love him and i don wanna hit him..

I don wanna be the old kimberly that use to be so rude and mean

to everyone...He always make me laugh

The way he behave..Sometimes i just wanna grab him cuz his so cute..

hahahahahahahahaha.....

My grandma ask me when am i getting married..

Hahahaha...thats a very good question..

Everyone should not ask me they should ask him..

Cuz his the one that will plan oue wedding

hahahaha...Funny right..Normally the woman will plan

But for my case its the guy..hahaha..

I wan him by myside everyday every min every hour..

What else do i need to make him

Believe me that im not fooling around..

In my life i only have one

lover one husband..

But u dear...???

Why must u always scold me all those

words..i just don understand..

Hai..Do u know im crying inside do u bloody well

Know that...I dunno what to do to make you stop using all

Those words on me..Sometimes i just

Feel like crying out but whats the point its not like you gonna hug me

or hold me..You will just let me be..Hmmm..I dunno

I just pray that he will stop using all those words on me wen his piss off..

But i love him till the end...!!!

I wIsH tHaT wAs Us......

2007-12-09T23:07:00.003+08:00

So many months have passed and we are still like that the same....Hai...Why must things always be like that why can't you just be like last time before we were together...

You have changed so much until sometimes i don't even know is that you or someone else that i am with...Many told me to talk to you maybe things will change but sometimes when i just tell you how i feel you will just tell me...'Don start withe me' that is what you always say to me..You never listen you what i have to tell you...

I dunno where we are heading cuz you yourself don't even open up and tell me anything at all...At times i just feel im the extra one in your life...I don't even know where i stand sometimes.......

Well...we will see what happens in the end...!!!

2007-12-04T00:24:00.000+08:00

.................................It's A Sad December For Me............................

This year for the month of december its a sad one cuz

X'mas is coming and I'm gonna be all

alone...He didnt call me for so long and suddenly out of the blue when he

called his in trouble...Hai...Why baby

Why must you get yourself into all this kind of rubbish

I thought you forgot about me...hahaha..

And before you called to tell me that you are no longer

working i already know baby

i know you to well already...hahahaha...

Hai...why baby why...Why cant you just be

like my old baby that i use to know

why must you get yourself ito trouble for nothing

what do you get baby...?When you called me

that day you know i was so happy

to hear your voice but suddenly your voice change and you

scolded me and told me off...Hai...Sometimes i

don wanna pick up and private number cuz i'm scared its you and i

might get scolding and you keep bringing up

the past over n over again..You love to make me sit alone and cry

right....???

Why cant you be happy with what i do for you

for once...Why...Now i just help you

as a friend..Cuz i know to

myself that we will never be together ever again..

Maybe in our next life...hahaha...

After this year has gone i also will be gone...I just hope

That everything i plan for next year

goes the way i want it to be...

Last year my dec was a happy one we went

X'mas shopping together we

was always at orchard road everyday just the two of us...

But this year dec...I dunno should i laugh or cry...

Everyday when im at work i put up

a fake smile and force myself to be happy but nobody

knows that deep down inside i'm

actually crying...Everyone see Kimberly as a very

Strong person...The happy go lucky kind of girl not even my parents

know...Only my half brother Weide...

He can tell that actually deep

inside me im actually very soft...Besides from my friend

Ash and Leslie who are not so close to me but can tell and they will always

do something stupid to make me laugh...

Sometimes i just laugh for the sake of laughing cuz i don wanna

offend them...I dunno if he still remember

what he told me about meeting up after 2yrs...hahaha....

Hmmmm........I don think he remembers

Well...never mind then just wait and see...If he don come den i will just leave

and he will never get to see me forever...Maybe its for the best

I dunno i really dunno anymore...

Its a sad dec this year for me...I just pray that next year

my dec will be a better one....!!!!

Miss and love you my percious baby boy....Take-Care.....

My new job n frenz....

2007-10-29T01:18:00.000+08:00

My NeW jOb & fReNz

I found myself a new job.....hahaha...
Finally i am out of OSIM..
Now i'm working at CUGINI at MS....
You must be thinking that its a pub right....
Hahaha...Its actually a fine dinning restaurant owned by
4 Italian guys....They are my bosses..

They are the best bosses in the world...
These are my new friends nw..We laugh together argue sometimes but we are still friends we do not hold anything against each other...We still have

lots of fun working...I hope that we all can work together

for a very long time before anyone of

us decides to leave CUGINI for

a better job offer...

We only know what time we must come to work

we dunno what time we finish

thats the boring part cuz sometimes we wanna

make plans to go out and we cant

What if suddenly Mani say must stay until

closing den die sia...My frens

sure get piss of with me...

Well...Lets see how long i can stay with them cuz

i kinda get bored really fast with

jobs...hahaha...Thats me..

Lolz...Well..You cant blame me right if the management

is fucked up who would wanna stay

they surly find something better and go......

People free come down and see me...

Have a drink at my work place its a bar after 10.30pm

Its behind Dbl O...don tell me you guys dunno wher dbl O is.....Lolz

The place is called CUGINI..

ShOuLd i StAy.......oR......gO........???

2007-10-11T20:26:00.000+08:00

Should i stay or leave.....????

I thought that i wouldn't be that hard working here but everyday its getting from bad to worse hai....I feel like looking for a new job.....

I'm so stress working here now and to make matters worse outside work i'm also so stress....Sometime i just feel like giving up in life but running away is not gonna help the thought of death always come racing to my mind when i have this feeling....

I feel that no one actually understands me for who i am they are always judging me from the outside....I don understand why also....Its so fucked up man....Hai....Have been working morning shift almost 2months man...and what do i get form the company shit....Everyday theres always something for them to come and tell me off about my sales...Hai....

My supervisor keep asking us to help her to hit the target but when we ask her if we help her what do we get nothing what....Den she comes up with this stupid answer...Oh if you guys help me hit i will share with you'll....Hahahahahaha...........Joke of the year man.....Of cuz la she wants us to help her hit she will do or say anything what......But...When the day actually come and if we really help her hit....Do you think that she will remember to share with us...Of cuz NO....

Maybe she can fool joey cuz she is kinda naive Malaysia girl what do they know about Singapore working life....But she cant fool me...I'm not that stupid to believe every word she say...Den nothing to shoot me right come up with another stupid thought to tell me off....Say i never do area cleaning...WTF.....She think what i'm dam lazy izzit....Really piss me off man when she said that to me....When i keep quiet she keep asking me to answer...When i answer she say i very rude....Hai....So difficult to please people now a days man....Not only at work...Family and the outside world also so dam bloody hard to please man...!!!!

This picture is me at my small desk waiting for customers to come in and sit on my massage chair...Lame....But what to do....No choice.....Well...I'm just gonna see how long more i can stand working there...But in the mean time i will keep a look out for other jobs as well....!!!!

Till den wish me luck....Hahahahaha..........

I want back my old life...

2007-09-12T23:29:00.001+08:00

wOw....

2007-09-01T21:30:00.001+08:00

wOrK..........!!!!!!!!!!!

2007-08-15T13:43:00.000+08:00

Hmmm...Lets just say that i have finally found myself a job...hahaha...at last...well...I'm working under Osim now and its alright so far so good...hahaha...Its a little tough i must say but i think i will get use to it after a while...Well...nothing comes easy without hard work right...?! hahaha...!

The people there are alright i guess...They are friendly well i'm new so i don think that they will be mean to me right....hahaha...But i do not know if i can stay long in this company cause our commission...We are not sharing and everyone will try to take the customer when they walk in the shop...and i hate that alot...hahaha...Well...lets just see how long i can last in this job...can i last longer then Robinson...We will see...hahaha...!

You sometimes the way the people talk to me over there its as if i am bloody stupid and dunno anything or should i say dunno how to talk and sell the products...SHIT right...Hey...I'm new man...When i serve a customer of cause its my customer okie....But den again of cuz i don really know all the bloody products that well why when i turn around and look at one of them for help they give me this cold feeling...BLOODY SHIT man....I hate it so much...Then when they take over and serve it becomes their customer...WTF sia...Den if thats the case next time i wont turn and ask anyone for help i will just say whatever i know dunno also i will just talk la...So if the customer wanna buy i will get the commission...Better right...Cuz if i ask for help then they wanna take the commission whats the bloody point of me serving in the first place right....?!

Hmmm...I just cant wait to be transfered to airport at least over there i will be alone and no idiot will take my commission...hahaha...I'm so mean right...hahaha...What do i care...hahahaha....Anyway i will be working alone...Yup to think of it i will feel bored but who cares all i need to do is my 6hours den i can leave...hahaha...

There is this guy that day when i worked morning...Well...yes he did teach me alot of things but i dunno for some reason i just don like the way he talks...So dam bloody corky as if his the manager but actually his just a sales consultant...hahahaha....Lame right...!Wanna act manager but end up nothing...hahahahahaha....!!!

So thats it about my work...I hope to sell at least one of the message chair before end of the month so that i can can more commission that means more money...Kinda need money badly my birthday coming also...Sigh...Stress man...Well people pray for me okie...So that i can sell more things....Then i will treat all of you my darling friends...hahahaha....!!

Hmmmm.......

2007-07-14T16:59:00.000+08:00

Hmmm...I went out with my two beloved god sisters for a movie and den we wen to eat at newton....Well...i really had alot of fun just going out with them....and at the end of the day i wen back to my god sister's house i stayed over there...an i spend the whole day at her house and i really do not feel like going home cuz at least over there i got someone to talk to...At home I'm all alone and i will start thinking about alot of things and i really hate that feeling...

I wish i wish i wish.....Sigh....Never mind just forget it...Whatever i wish it will never come true anyway so why should i still wish and hope,when it wont come true....Or even if it comes true i gotta wait very long time...so whats the point of me still hoping and wishing...Sigh....

My baby i really miss and love you so much....One day if i don get to see you anymore just remember that i really love you so much....I'm waiting to marry you baby but i know that it will never happen baby...Sigh...Well....You take-care of yourself and just remember that i love you my precious baby boy....!

tHe sHy gIrL...........!!!!

2007-06-17T02:24:00.000+08:00

Its me Kimberly...And yes i have always been this person I'm always very shy i never talk much to anyone i actually enjoy listening to others talk...I can sit there for hours and not say anything...Hmmm...Those that know me for long always say i cant believe it when i first got to know you...You're so quiet but now you just cant stop talking...Hahaha...Guess some girls are like that and i so happen to be one of those girls...!!!

I didn't even talk to my ex before his the one that came up to me and talk to me and his the one that asked me out and can you believe it i didn't even eat..hahaha...That was how shy i was....!All i did was smile and listen to him talk....But once we got to know each other better and when we became much closer...Before he can ask me to eat i will ask him if he wanna eat...hahahahahahahahaha................After a while when we got really comfortable with each other...Its like both of us will always have something to say and we always laugh n laugh we never get bored of each cuz its not like I'm just doing all the talking and his listening or his doing all the talking and I'm listening...Even on the phone we also got so much to talk to each other...Until today when we are no longer together we still got alot of thing to say to each other and we got alot of topics to talk...Hai...I miss talking to him....!!! Hahahaha....I'm in my dream world when i say i miss him....hahaha....!?

Even when i first got to know my god sister k.ina i also never really talk to her i always just smile....but now...huh...i can really talk non stop...hahaha... sometime i wounder if I'm talking too much and would people mind... hahahahahahahaha......Well...Guess I'm just like that...So if i don really talk much to you when we first meet don't get offended k...I'm just shy...!!!!

2007-06-11T00:23:00.000+08:00

Create your own Friend Test here

what can i say~!

2007-06-10T01:29:00.000+08:00

He message me today when he was at home and he said that he wanted to meet me....Den suddenly i receive a message from him saying that he needs to go buy his things with ... ok fine although i was looking forward to meeting him but what can i say...his not mine after all...so next time i should not put my hopes to high up when it comes to meeting him...Now that his not working i know that its gonna be very hard to meet him and since now that i am also not working and i am very free its much easier for me to meet him...cause once i start my new job i will not have the time to meet him anymore unless of cause he wants to meet me after i finish work at10.30pm...Hai...I dunno lah.....?!

Well....What can i say...his not mine i do not have the right to tell him what to do anyway....Life sucks man i love him but my heart does not feel the same way anymore...i don have any tears to cry...Hai...What can i say again i have become numb thinking about him...but there are times when we meet and i feel like crying and hugging him so tight and telling him that i miss him but again i cant cry anymore i have no more tears...but....my heart hurts like hell and no one knows cause they cant feel my heart only god knows how painful my heart is but i force myself to put a smile on my face...I dunno why i have this feelings...Hai...I use to always have a answer but now...I'm always saying...I DUNNO...I DUNNO...!!!

eRm...no one can tell that i am hiding my feelings not even him he only can tell when i am angry or not happy about something...now a days he cant tell when i am sad...Anyway whats the point of showing him or telling him that i am sad what can he do....?Patch things up with me....You think he will ever come back and wanna be with me again....No right....!?So i guess its better for me to keep it to myself.....!?

The other day we were talking about 'What will you do if you could stop the time' and the both of us were talking and laughing enjoying the time that we spent together that we didn't even look at the time...Next thing you know its already 3plus in the morning....Wow time really passes so fast....!!!Will we ever get back together and be happy like we were 5years ago...Hai...What can i say again....I dunno i really dunno anymore...!...Till den...What can i say...I'm still in love with you.....!!!! But don make that love for you fade away cause i wont turn my back and force myself to love you once again...I don like to force myself to do things that i don wan to...!!!

Xiao Hui and Xiao Yun

2007-06-08T18:09:00.002+08:00

This is me and my god sister calyn's daughter they are staying in USA i miss them so much although we are not very close but every time when they are in Singapore i always look forward to meeting up with them....!

Don't you think we look good together...hahhaha...This was taken last year when xiao hui was in Singapore we went out for a drink and we had lots of fun just talking although she is just a small kid but the time spent with her it was a fantastic one...!She just reminds me of my cousin caitlin when we talk cause she is as smart as my cousin and i enjoy talking to kids like that...I wounder when i have my own child will they be as smart as my cousin and xiao hui....Hmmm...who knows we cant predict what the future brings...right...?!

But whatever it is i hope that i make the right choice and bring my kids up well like my god sister and my auntie....Well...I hope that my child looks like me cause you can see when all the good looks come from its got to be from my side of the family....Hahahaha....!?Well...what can i say my family is mix...don even ask cause i myself dunno what are we mix with especially my mother's side...for my dad's side its simple they are all Chinese but mum's...hmmmm...its complicated....Hahaha...!

Well...i gotta stop here mummy's calling...Oh no...im in trouble...hahaha...Its not like its the first time anyway...Lolz....(",)

In case if you guys are thinking who is xiao yun and xiao hui...Xiao yun is me Xiao hui is the little princess beside me...!!!

Pictures and more pictures....

2007-06-08T18:09:00.001+08:00

Daddy and kids

Big sis precious

Cutie

Homework time

Big sis and baby brother

Baby Mica taking a bath

Clifton and Abigail

Pretty girls...

My mummy,Calyn jie and Abigail

Snow city in USA

Valentines day

Abigail during Chinese new year

Does love really exist....???

2007-06-05T18:06:00.000+08:00

what is love?Can anyone explain....every1 tells me that I love you but do they really mean it...my bf broke up with me last yr x'mas n i moved back home its was hard very hard 4 me but den i started going out with my brother's friends n now i have my own friends to go drinking with...I change my hp number becuz of him but eventually he got my number but its ok with me...He calls me at times n messages me everyday when his not with ... he tells me that he still loves n misses me very much and he ask me to wait...Ya i know i made my mistake but why does he still loves me so much i don understand....I do say i love him too but sometimes i wounder why i say those words...cause when i say it i really mean what i say...But what about him???Do he really mean it when he says he love me...What is the meaning of love...For me i think its just words just to make someone happy at that point of time...I don believe in love anymore i have been hurt one too many times already...After i came home i tried to get myself attached to some1 else just 2 forget my ex but i couldn't cuz i the end the guy was also another idiot and now for the first time i don feel hurt at all my heart is numb i don believe in love at all....My da jie(angie&jo-an) tells me that the right one will come along n he will be luckiest guy to have me cuz im different from other girls...Is my da jie right about me...?Hmmm...I really dunno anymore!!!

I normally go drinking every Friday n Saturday night but now a days there is no fix days 4 me to go drinking i can even go on a Monday surprise right....!Hahaha....!!! I think i have hurt myself cuz this pass few days when i go drinking sometime i drink too much n i vomit blood....hahaha...but who cares anyway since im single i don really bother about myself anymore...every1 tells me that they love me but don believe any1 anymore cuz they all just wanna make me happy for a while...

As for my ex ya of cuz i miss him we stay together for 5yrs ok...but i don believe him when he say I LOVE YOU KIMBERLY...because how can you love two persons...I think its rubbish and i don wish to share my bf with anyone else so if anyone wanna be with me they better be single cuz if they lie and in the end i find out that i have been two timed i will make sure they pay for it...I hate guys who lie just to be with me...I wont let these kind of guys off so easily.....Now whoever hurt me i will not let go just like that they will pay for making me cry...Everyone may call me mean but i don care thats the new Kimberly Ng Si Yeun like it or don like it thats not my problem...I am very happy with what im doing now....!!!!